Day 96 - Saturday 23rd September 2017

Jack and I went over to see Theo at about 8am. Lisa had been there since about 7am. She would have been 39 weeks pregnant today!! I cant believe we have been here for almost 14 weeks!!! Theo was doing really well and was on hardly any oxygen! I don't think he will need to come home on oxygen but you never know... I dropped Jack off at his Grandmas and Grandads and went to the house to meet the tiler, painter and plumber..... they all turned up on time and cracked on with the job in hand.... My sparky came and gave me a load of instructions on how to wire the electrics for the appliances and lights up, so I started drilling all the walls out to put the new wiring in.... I can't believe the labourers took all the plastic protective film off though, the kitchen is covered in dust now!!

I got a phone call off my old army mate's wife from Preston at about 5pm to tell me that my mate had taken his own life last night!!..... I was only speaking to him yesterday morning telling him to give his head a wobble because he was stressed out about potentially losing his job! I cant believe he would do something like that! He has got such a great family and he knows the aftermath of suicide from when my best mate took his own life 4 years ago! I'm truly gutted for him and his family!! I never served in the Army with him, having only met him a few years ago on my annual veterans tour.... but we have had a good bromance since and have become really good mates. He's been like my rock since Theo was born. He's helped me get through this journey by listening to my problems nearly every day and has been a shoulder to lean on over lunch a couple of times during the last 3 months. The last couple of weeks he's been having a nightmare at work because of a lack of resources and a too heavy workload, and yesterday he said that he's messed up as a result and might lose his job..... I told him that it's just a job and to walk away from it..... I didn't think for one minute he would take his own life!! I decided to leave the house and go back to the hospital as I couldn't think straight! I cried on the way back.... I was going over our last phone call to see if there were any signs but there wasn't..... I've always known him to be really strong minded and laid back.... I'm in absolute shock and feel so bad for his wife and 3 beautiful kids! Leanne picked Jack up from his grandmas and went for a sleepover at her house..... I arrived back at the hospital feeling pretty sombre! I stayed with Theo for a while, fed him a bottle and read him some stories. He was doing great and had been put back in to a cot bed.... The doctors said that he will be moved to the nursery anytime! Lisa said he's still got weeks ahead of him but I'm not so sure... I think he'll be home around his due date.... he's doing so well. Really bad day today! I went to bed feeling pretty crappy! RIP mate... another fallen comrade taken too soon by inner demons! Thanks for reading, please share this blog with everyone you know to extend it's reach.... Subscribe to our page to receive a notification of the next blog.... You can donate to our two amazing charities at:

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