Lisa's reflective account of Day 31....

It was our 15th Wedding Anniversary that day. We never in a million years would have imagined we’d be spending it in hospital. We were so blessed to have Theo, we never imagined we would ever have another baby. He was such a little fighter, going through more everyday than I had been through my whole life! We didn’t get each other anything for our anniversary this year, not even a card. We had our little family, and we knew how much we loved each other so there was really no need for anything else. When you have left your life behind and go through such a life changing experience it makes you appreciate what is important. Phil went over to see Theo early that morning. I went back to bed after getting up early to phone the unit and express. He messaged me not long after he’d got there to say that the nurse who had been looking after Theo overnight was really lovely. He wouldn’t tell me why but I hate not knowing things so I made him tell me. He sent me the most amazing pictures of a card. Theo’s one month birthday card and anniversary card to us from Theo. It was so beautiful. It thanked us for always watching over him and reading him stories. I was emotional looking at it and so grateful to the nurse, such a kind and thoughtful thing to do which meant so much. We were always there watching over him and would continue to do so his whole life. You’re more than welcome my precious boy, it’s the least we could do, we’ll always be there for you. 💕 Phil had some jobs to do that day so I stayed with Theo. The nurse that was looking after him in the day was lovely. Theo’s hand and foot prints in the card looked big when I saw them in the pictures but looked so tiny in real life. He only had one hand print because he had a cannula in his other hand. They weaned his morphine a little bit more that day which was good. He seems a lot better than he was last weekend. What a difference a week made! He was tolerating his feeds well, still not fully milk fed yet though. Still had a couple of drops in heart rate and frequent de-saturations though. Phil picked Jack up from his friends and brought him to the unit along with treats for the nurses. Jack wanted to take us out for an anniversary meal to a South Indian Restaurant a short walk round the corner from the hospital. We had a lovely meal, I still felt like I couldn’t relax but managed to go for Jack. He was going away in two days so it was nice to spend some time together before he went. Jack still needed holiday clothes so we planned to go the next day whilst Phil stayed with Theo. It felt like a military operation for something so simple but leaving the hospital was so huge for me. Especially after the panic attack a few days earlier. It was a much different anniversary than we were used to but we had plenty more years ahead of us for celebrating. This year we had more important things to worry about! My husband is an amazing person, who does his absolute best to take care of our family. He knows how much we love him everyday, we don’t need anniversaries to tell each other that. We are so blessed and grateful for our beautiful little family.

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