I was starting to get into a bit of a routine now. We were getting to know Theo quite well and were becoming aware of his likes and dislikes. It was important to me that one of us was there for each nurse handover and every Doctors ward round so that everyone knew exactly what was happening. The Doctors change regularly and from experience, nurse handovers can be a bit like Chinese whispers sometimes. The only constant was Phil and I, because we were there so much we knew everything about Theo and were able to have an input into his care.
I felt like the fog was starting to clear a little. I was feeling much more focused and a little more in control. I felt like I was able to actually care for our baby now. He was fed every hour on the hour and each hour passed so quickly.
Jack stayed at his friends house that evening. He would never usually be able to stay out on a school night but he would have much more fun with his friend.
It was great that Phil and I could spend time together with Theo. Phil was really enjoying getting stuck in with his feeds and caring for him. He was getting that confident in fact that he stood over me checking I was doing it right! Erm.....I taught you how to feed him!!! Ha.
Phil wanted us to go out for a meal that evening. It was a real struggle for me. I hated leaving Theo but knew how much Phil wanted to go. We compromised and had a quick meal so that we could get back. I felt like I had left my heart at the hospital the emotional pull was massive and I physically felt it. Every second with Theo was precious and I didn’t want to miss a single one.
It was strange being out in the world no one knew what was happening to us. With work I have always known the importance of not judging people, you never know what might be really happening to anyone that you meet, in any walk of life.
We have a family whatsapp group, it was callled Mum, Dad and Jack ❤️. Since Theo came along we changed it to Mum, Dad, Jack and Theo ❤️❤️. Jack sent a picture of Theo to the group at about 11.30pm. He said that he couldn’t get to sleep and was looking through Theo’s pictures. The whole situation must’ve been so difficult to deal with at 11 and we were so aware of that. We talk about everything as a family, we are open and honest with each other and we’re very confident that Jack would tell us whenever he was worried or unhappy. We are so lucky to have two such amazing boys!
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