Day 5 - Saturday 24th June 2017 (26 week gestation)

I was up early today to go and spend some time with Theo while Lisa and Jack had a lie in.... I can't believe that Theo is only 5 days old.... it feels like a lifetime ago he was born. Lisa would have been 26 weeks today. I'm so proud of her, she's doing really well expressing milk for him, we have loads stored in the fridge and freezer now.... he won’t starve that’s for sure. I spent a good few hours with him today; it was really nice to have some dad and baby time alone.... I kept finding myself having little breakdowns; but I'm still not ready to let it all out yet.... the nurse that was on today was really nice, she just left me to it when I washed him and changed his nappy; I'm getting a bit of a dab hand at it now 😁 I read him a book about teddy bears; and while I was reading, I noticed he was trying really hard to open his eyes.... I can't wait to look in to his eyes ❤❤ He was also holding really tight on to my thumb at one point with both hands which was really emotional.... He's so strong! The reality of just how small he is kicked in today when I put my hand behind him and saw that he is smaller than it!! The same size as my mobile phone!! Lisa and Jack came over late morning..... Lisa was really anxious, it was the longest time she'd spent away from him since he arrived..... Apart from a few ups and downs with his sugar levels and blood pressure, he's had a good morning and is making relatively good progress.... the doctors and nurses are checking him every couple of hours and they seem to always tweak something.... medication, oxygen levels, temperature, position etc etc etc..... It's like fine tuning..... only they're growing a baby and keeping him alive!! After a couple of hours, Jack was getting a bit restless so I took him out for the afternoon..... We went to Mothercare to buy some tops for Lisa, then went home to pick a few bits up.... Jack played on his drums for a bit...... he still has the skills 😁😁 the house was really cold and sombre and it's only been a couple of days...... I need to paint it before everyone comes home! We then went for a curry together at our local and then for a quick game of bowling... I had a really nice time with Jack and it’s been really good to have some lad and dad time... p.s. I let him win at bowling!! Feels really weird today.... I'm spending time with my two sons... one fighting for his life and the other who wants to play and have fun..... talk about a rollercoaster of emotions! When Jack and I got back to the hospital, we went straight over to see Theo who was fast asleep.... He'd continued to have a good day apart from his blood sugars, which were still all over the place..... Lisa had been doing all his cares and nappy changes all afternoon/evening, but had not been signed off to feed him yet... hopefully we will be signed off to do it soon. Jack read him a night time story and then we all said goodnight to him and made our way back to Ronald McDonald House.... we were all so knackered when we got back, Jack went straight to sleep, but Lisa had to express and I wrote my diary..... Keep fighting my beautiful little Theo ❤ ❤

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