Day 1 - Tuesday 20th June 2017

I woke up really early this morning, having hardly slept a wink and called Lisa to check on Theo..... she was on the NICU with him and had been there most of the night..... she sounded exhausted but said that he was being such a good boy.

Jack woke up about 8am, I let him sleep in as I had decided to keep him off School today so that we could stay up at the Hospital with Lisa & Theo all day.

Traffic was a nightmare when we set off so we decided to go to boots to get some pictures developed off my phone..... we got some large ones of our first family picture to put on the ward and in Lisa’s room, and some smaller ones of Theo to give to family. 

When we arrived at the NICU, Theo was under a blue lamp to prevent jaundice. The nurse said it was normal and nothing to worry about. He looked so cute, wrapped up in a little nest with a tiny wooly hat that was too big for his head, and a tiny little nappy that covered half is legs and body..... reality was kicking in.... but I still can't believe that we have a new baby.....

Lisa was looking really tired, but entirely focused on what was going on and what the doctors were saying. She is a really good general practice nurse and she was soaking everything up..... they said that Theo was doing better than expected for a 25 week gestation. They were using all sorts of jargon that I didnt understand..... I felt like a rabbit in the headlights! 

I felt completely useless today and couldn't do anything but watch as the doctors and nurses just got on with it like it was nothing.... 'just another day in the office for these experts!' They were so efficient and calm, there were alarms going off everywhere and they were going from incubator to incubator making sure that all the babies were ok.... it was like I was in a dream with everything passing me by!

We had the same nurse as yesterday again today, she was really nice... she asked Lisa if she wanted to do his cares... of course Lisa said yes.... she washed his body with little cotton pads, cleaned his mouth with cotton buds and changed his nappy.... Jack recorded it all on my phone. It was the first time Lisa had got to really touch him other than putting her hand in to stroke his head. It was very emotional.....

A few people came to see us today.... my sister and niece, and Lisa's Sister, Grandma, Auntie, and cousin. Lisa just wanted to be with Theo and wasn't really up for visitors, she looked pale, and like she was starting to go down hill a bit... I need to keep a close eye on her over the next few days.... 

Jack was being really good with Theo today, he still couldn't believe that he had a little brother though....

The doctors said that it would be a few months before Theo would be able to go home so we need to sort some accommodation out as we are having to leave Lisa at night cause me and Jack aren't allowed to stay on the postnatal ward; and when Lisa is discharged, there is no way she is going to leave him here and go home every day!! 

So, I've started looking at some local hotels tonight and the day nurse has put an application in for Ronald McDonald House for us.... fingers crossed for that as it's right outside the hospital.... They only have 60 rooms though and the nurse said we could be waiting a while to get a room 😢

Theo looked really good today and has a really strong grip.... he loves holding on to my finger, and I love holding his hand 😁

I am still in shock with it all I think, but I am really hopeful for the future with my new little solider! 

He had a brain scan early this morning and the results came back as abnormal.... it looks like he has had a grade 1 bleed on both sides of his brain (grade 4 being the worse). The doctors said it was quite normal for premature babies to have bleeds on their brains.... especially if they haven't had the magnesium in time to protect it!!

I hated coming home tonight, I just want to stay with Theo 😢😢 

Stay strong little man.... I'll see you in the morning ❤❤ 

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